Sunday, May 28, 2017

OYM Open Your Mouth OYM

From Italy to Canada   From Canada to Italy


A decade ago my husband and I were walking the streets of Victoria BC Canada.  

My husband was wearing his Italian hoodie.  We walked into a coffee shop.  As soon as we walked in we heard 'Bella Italia'.  We looked around and standing there was a beautiful woman admiring my husbands hoodie. She let go of her fear thinking to herself, 'OYM' - open your mouth.

Open her mouth, she did.  We became friends.  I gave her this butterfly to take with her on her trip.  Today she is in Florence Italy.  She planned a 3 month holiday to celebrate her 70th birthday.  She spent one month in Portugal and two months in Italy.  She back packed in Italy in the past.  Soon she will be in Sorrento. Today I talked to two of my brother in laws who met her when they were on a trip to visit with us and our family five and seven years ago.

They are going to pick her up and take her to their home town to meet the rest of my husbands siblings.  She will see the true Italian culture and their customs.  I asked one brother in law to be sure to take a photo of her in front of Bar Sessa.  This bar is located next door to my mother in laws home. My mother in law passed away four years ago.

My Italian is fairly broken, but my brother in law understood how much it would be appreciated.  My friend had hosted both my brother and sister in laws for dinner when they came to visit us in Victoria. Our favorite runaway place.  

One of the brother in laws came to visit us 36 years after his first visit here.  He was held in custody at the airport in Toronto.  Why, you might ask?  Thirty six years ago he overstayed his welcome.  So they had a record of his time in Canada.  Turns out while in custody he was asked 4 questions.  He had to open his mouth and speak his truth.  Over the phone my husband was asked the same 4 questions.  IF the answers were the same they would allow him to come to Victoria but they'd have to shorten their visit.  My husband opened his mouth and the answers were the same.  That paved the way for my brother in law and his wife to fly to Victoria to spend some time with us.  We did have to scramble for new flight tickets though.  So our drive from Victoria to Calgary turned out to be only a 3 day visit upon arriving in my home town, Calgary. It was originally planned to spend 3 weeks in Victoria and 1 week in Calgary. They came for our sons wedding which was in Victoria.  Our son married a girl from the Island.  My brother in law had just finished his journey with cancer treatments.  We were grateful he overcame cancer and now he understands our journey with cancer.

My other brother in law is a barber.  He was the first one to open his mouth and put a stop to smoking in his shop.  What a situation that was. He's never regretted it.  He has more clients than before.        

The dream of my mother and father in law in 1975 was to bring all the family to Canada for 10 years. Save lots of money and build a villa in Italy.  They had four sons, and two daughters.  The sons would work hard then they could go back and live like kings in their home town.  Creating a vibrant life. Didn't quite work out that way.  I got in the way and so did the dream of their first born son for a more prosperous life.  

My sister in law was the first to live in Canada at 17 years of age after she married an Italian man from the next town who had come to Canada for work with his brother.  With my father in law insisting that they get married (they were engaged since she was 14) because he was away for two years too long, not realizing that his daughter would be going to Canada as well after her marriage. SO what's a father to do?  He sent his oldest son (who became my husband) to go to Canada to protect his younger sister.

Are you confused yet?  

My husband did NOT want to come to Canada.  His parents pushed him to go for an interview in Rome to file for landed immigrant status.  Me opened his mouth and told the authorities that he was a bum, had no job, had no desire to work or to learn a new language!!  Guess what?  He got the stamp of approval.  When it was time to go, a neighbor gave him a $20 Canadian bill and off he went to the airport.  He flew in on Canadian Airlines. A couple of Italian brothers, who were painters called him to give him work after only 3 days.  He was never out of work.  When it was time to settle down and get married.  He asked God to send him a woman who would wake him up in the morning.  That's my job.  I've been doing it for 41 years now.  

My sister in law ended up living in Canada for only 12 years.  My mother in law was forever looking for a job for me so her son would also move back to Italy.  She thought I could work at the Nato base because I spoke English and could learn Italian.  Nato is the navy base in Naples Italy. When my husband was 40 he finally opened his mouth to tell his Mamma he would not be moving home.    

On one trip to Italy we were on the train going to Naples, with our three children for a shopping spree.  A group of high school kids got on.  They were complaining about their English teacher.  I understand simple Italian, but spoke little. When ever we are in Italy my husband asks me to be quiet so the vendors do not raise their prices while on a shopping spree. But this time, I had to speak up, so OYM is what i did.  Open your mouth!!  Open my mouth I did.  In English I said to them - "Excuse me, if you want to learn how to speak English, you must listen to your teacher!" Well if you could see the look on their faces.  I wish I had a camera!! 

I'd love for my husband to write a book about his life.  He is not willing to do that, so I write short snippets!

My father was a Hungarian immigrant who married my Canadian Mother.  I married an Italian immigrant.  I am SO blessed knowing two cultures.  I was a shy quiet Canadian girl.  God chose an outspoken Italian man for my husband.  The lessons learned would be through the language of love. I fell in love with this Italian immigrant and his Italian Romantic language. That's what it took to push out all of my fears to be the woman God created me to be.  I was SO afraid to be myself.  My life was filled with fear.  I didn't accept this new love language.  It was too loud and uncomfortable for me.  I built a wall of protection until I ran out of bricks (ideas of protecting myself). 

Now the wall has come tumbling down.  I am an outspoken woman.  I have learned the universal language of love.  It's not Italian.  It's a language from heaven.  Grace, Mercy, Peace, Love, Forgiveness, Humility, Joy, Kindness, from My Big G, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit.

My husband said to me just yesterday, "It's been over 40 years now,  trying to understand how your brain works, and I still don't get it!" "Wonderful, I said.  I hope you'll give up trying now!" 

Communication has always been a challenge for me because I didn't believe in myself and now I do.  

Now, I seem to do what needs to be done at any given moment.  I find myself being quite spontaneous.  No need to think about anything.  Just do it!  Just because I think it's a great idea!! My husband is getting used to living with this new 'after cancer' woman and who she is inspired to be. Herself!  

I am free to be me.  Mamma D Butterfly.  I am Canadian!  I speak two languages. English and broken Italian.  I took 8 years of French when I was in school and the only thing I remember is:  'Ferme ta bouche', which means close your mouth!!  What happened?  It took too many decades to open my mouth again.  Thank You Big G.

As you open your mouth, sharing your stories with family, friends and their circle of influence - know that sharing brings healing.  That's what I do, share and heal on this journey with 'healing the mind'. Encouraging multicultural butterflies to go to My Big G for help.

With Love and Encouragement, 

Dorothy  -   Mamma D Butterfly

Visit me at:  MyBigG.com




Tuesday, May 23, 2017

From A Beautiful Mind

Permission Granted . . . .  


I sent an email to my cousin checking in with him as he's been so loving and attentive through my cancer journey.  I informed him that I was heading out to Saskatchewan to speak to a few women's groups there.  This was his beautiful response.  With his permission I share this with you.

Hi there Miss butterfly

  Happy to hear from you!
It’s super to know that you speak.
As a woman speaking to other women, well?
The message can be so relevant to their ears.
I am a man-child-boy and have grown up with women always.
I’ve seen the challenges and differences that women face all of their lives.
I’ve had the best care and guidance from women.
As a little baby boy, I survived to live today, now.
I think women know more meaning through their accomplishments.
Women can do it all, despite the hardships, abuse and they deserve to tell their story to all ears.
I like the statues on the Stephen avenue mall. The famous five.
They achieved the recognition of women to be regarded as persons.
It seems absurd that they had to fight just to be what they are.
Ha! As a male human, I know that men have more than one rib missing.
So I wonder what exactly was contained in that one rib.
I don’t understand much, but I know that women have the complete set.
They are the original edition of our lives.
They bring all to life.
It would be the truest vision if I could forever see the joy and love of my Mothers eyes when she delivered me to this world.
I can always know that everything she said to me, was truth.
Her stories filled my vision and coloured my world so much.
Listening to her showed me beauty in all things.
I’m so fortunate to see inside dark places and broken people.
Then I can see hope  lives there and is life and nourishment that rekindles my spirit.
I feel, very strongly that speaking to women is giving a gift of great worth to other women.
Life is relevant to all. Women matter and should always speak their minds freely.
It’s only what I think and believe. From a mans perspective.
I love you and I truly feel your message is always worth relating.
Thanks for a story well lived.
Blue Star Mama, Dorothy Sessa Butterfly

As for me, I have had to rely on using my cane to get around.
For the last 3 days, I’ve managed to get around the city on my own without the cane.
So I’m not cane, but I am able.  (get the pun- Cain and Able - Son's of Adam & Eve)
True to my personality and way of thinking, I simply cannot walk in a straight line.
So I look like I am drunk, and I have no doubt that I sound much like I am totally inebriated.
I find there are benefits.
Bus drivers lower the floor for me and they usually wait until I’m seated before stepping on the gas.
People give up their seats for me. (most often it’s a woman)
People actually open doors for me and hold them open and ask if I’m ok.
In both Starbucks and Tim Horton’s MY order is ready before I finish paying at the till.
Sometimes the staff will bring the food over to my table.
I like it!

So life is a lesson of hope in my dark place.
It’s like air conditioning for the soul.

It helps to walk and talk funny and look well lit.
Anyway cousin so happy for you.
Love every little bit of you.

A peace of heaven to you.

Love Rubes

From the beautiful mind of my cousin.  Thank You Cousin Rubes. 
What an inspiration for women from a man.

May we all be blessed with speaking the truth from our heart.

With Love and Encouragement, 

D o r o t h y    M a m m a    D   B u t t e r f l y



Monday, May 22, 2017

Seize the Day

When it comes time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived!  Quote by Henry David Thoreau


When I was seizing the day before becoming a speaker for RSVP Ministries I was making phone calls to strangers trying to make a connection where I could be invited to speak about the miracles in my life. One phone call ended with an invitation to come for coffee.  This family welcomed me into their home and said "How can we help you!"  I was shocked and surprised.  After our visit we left as friends in Christ and have kept in touch over these past five years.  

This couple used to serve on Mercy Ships.  That's where they met.  Now they are married and have two little ones in their family.

I received this poem, and virtual hugs, from them, to keep on keeping on. My heart is filled with gratitude for their encouragement.  May you be encouraged as well.

Anonymous Encouragement Poem:
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."

Unknown

As you seize the day think about who you are, why you're here and where you'll be when you're not here.  May the Lord fill you with Courage as you step forward in confidence and move towards a life well lived.

With Love and Encouragement, 

D o r o t h y


Sunday, May 21, 2017

Courage Confidence Commitment

My new website:  MyBigG.com  . . . Has blossomed in the past two weeks.



The two families that I mentioned being changed by a cancer diagnosis on the blog dated:  May 1st.  have played a Big role in the transformation of this website idea.

I have written a letter to one family - it took me 6 hours to complete.  I dropped it off on Mother's Day along with a book called 'Cancer Killers' and files from my computer to help heal the emotions.  The other family I went to visit and give a message of courage and a daily devotional - 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young.  I honored this mother with the blue ribbon 'Who I am makes a difference' and gave her enough ribbons to acknowledge her children if she chose to do so. (BlueRibbonStory.org)

It took a lot of courage to take action on their behalf.  I am pleased with the result in knowing that each family appreciated the encouragement.  I was blessed in knowing 'I can do all things through Christ'.  

We have no idea when or how we are going to leave this place called Earth.  It is inevitable.  MyBigG website is encouragement for the healing of the minds.  It's about healing of the emotions, healing by knowing your identity, healing by knowing how to support your loved ones choice in dealing with life and death.  Possibly leaving a letter to comfort your loved ones left behind dealing with grief.

The ABC's of cancer:  Always Believe Christ.

The ABC's of Christ:  Always Believe cancer can turn your life around! Christ is Alive, Breathing, Comforting, Empowering, Forgiving, Gentle, Holy, I Am, Joy, Kind, Loving, Mighty, Nurturing, Obedient, Perfect, Qualified, Righteous, Supernatural, Teacher, Uplifting, Victorious.

May you find hope, healing and inspiration browsing the site: www.MyBigG.com  I am committed to encouraging others to deal with their expiry date in a healthy way.

With Love and Encouragement,

D o r o t h y

Friday, May 5, 2017

My Big G

God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit.


When you turn your back on cancer and face Christ, you realize the God that created day/night, darkness/light, water, the sun, moon, stars, galaxy, animals, mammals, vegetation and mankind is way bigger than any situation that arises and can handle all things.

We are to give thanks in all circumstances.  1 Thessalonians 5:18  I give thanks for my diagnosis but don't listen to the prognosis.

Having had the diagnosis of breast cancer turned me inside out and upside down.  Cancer began to erase any joy that was within me.  Once I found my way to the inside of who I am.  

I knew it was an inside job.  It was UP2ME. 

UP2ME to learn about the power of my emotions and what I would do with all my 'poor me' thoughts.  

I took on the challenge helping myself as My Big G spoke words of wisdom and revelation.  

With cancer and degenerative disease everywhere and watching how people fall into the trap of hopelessness, despair and double depression, I can't not shut up!  It would kill me if I did.  I must encourage myself and others to get past our fears on what ever the journey is that we choose to follow, to overcome our circumstance.  

To overcome our circumstance we must let go of being terminally serious and call on My Big G.  

I am launching a website to encourage others.  A website that will turn depression into inspiration.  A website that the reader will be encouraged to call on Big G and me for hope and healing.

This is the web address:  www.MyBigG.com

May you be blessed and bless others in their challenging circumstance. 

Let's take a stand for a healthy body, mind and soul.

With Love and Encouragement,

D o r o t h y   

Monday, May 1, 2017

Cancer is not the issue!

The issue is, overcoming cancer!


What do you do when you've been told you've got cancer?  First reactions: shock, denial, fear, grief.

What do you do or say to someone who has just found out they have cancer?  First reactions: Call - but say what?  Avoid them - say nothing.  

Three weeks ago I found out someone I know has cancer.  I thought I'd call and say something, but what?

I recall the intense fear I felt.  My listening skills had diminished.  So now I'm thinking about a simple "I heard about your situation.  I understand the craziness of cancer and I just want you to know I understand.  If you want to talk I'll listen.  If you have any questions I'll answer the best I can. Most important, I'm praying for you."

Took me a couple of weeks to gather my thoughts and pick up that 300 lb telephone!!  We had a great conversation.  At the end I asked if I could pray for him/her over the phone.  The answer was "Yes!"

Wonderful.  We were both moved to tears and both of us were encouraged as we hung up the phone.

Now I found out a friend has cancer.  The first thing I told my husband "We know what they are going through.  We are going to go see them to encourage them."  We went the day after we found out.  We visited and encouraged him/her and their family.  Both leaving with a message of hope, a hug of strength.

Both friends will be encouraged with inspiration from above as my husband or I feel the need.

Cancer is not the issue!  How are you going to over come cancer is the issue.  Are you going to turn your back on cancer and face Christ or are you going to believe what man says about your cancer?

I found a testimony on:  tohellwithcancer.com  These were the 5 steps to conquer cancer.

1.  Go to God first.  2.  Believe God by confessing His word.  3.  Take action - live out your faith.
4.  Live out your healing - live out the lifestyle you were called to.  5.  Find someone on the journey - help and lead them to the healer.

That's exactly what I'm doing.  May you be encouraged and find hope on your faith journey.

With Love and Encouragement,

D o r o t h y